Saturday, March 15, 2014

A menu which you cannot choose from...

What are the possible scenarios of death

1. Die in old age (between 70-80) with a heart attack or stroke
             
          One kind which is most likely to happen if you are a guy who lives a natural course of life. If you are lucky enough like my grandpa, you can have a minor warning attack, then get admitted, all your sons and daughters will come to meet you, then get well, then die in the night suddenly with another attack. Not much pain, but happy ending. Best possible if you are in the phase of resting, after you have accomplished all your suppose to be duties of life.

2. A death in very old age( > 90)

        The quality of life varies much when you get so old, depends on how care you gave to your machine when you were young. It might be uneventful or sometimes morbid depending on what baggage of diseases you've got. Hypertension is all about taking timely pills. Diabetes mellitus is going to bite deep, from sweet restrictions to cumbersome ulcers. Chronic smoking will leave you with early shutdown of peripheral blood supply resulting acute and chronic feet and leg pain, ulcers, which can eat your alive. Also the fumes can also gift you a bad lung with chronic cough.
Unless you are a very rich guy who can stand on your foot, the QOL is going to depend on your caretakers monetary constraints.

3. Dying in midlife crisis

     Not a very good idea. You've got offsprings in their teens, unmarried daughters, half payed house loan or some times half built house, premenopausal wife. If its a woman, almost same scenario except the money part maybe safe. These days that to depends on who is making the home. Death might be due to natural cause or an accident. Suiccides and homicides are also a good possibility. Its a good idea to have a life insurance with a huge amount if you are the sole earning member.

4. Dying young

    Not a bad idea. Depends on your last status, if you are good at studies and in a category which your friends envy, you might be lucky. Because they will say if you were alive you could have become so and so...If you are not good in studies , but good hearted then also you are going to be missed by all the worldly people. Better try not to be cruel and sadistic in the early life. Anyway for the dead, I dont think its going to bother who care and who misses. The bonus thing is that you dont have to go through all those worries of worldly life. Sometimes dying young,for a friend or a noble cause could be more satisfying than grinding the life till old age for no reason.

4. Dying as a child

    Dont care, Most probably you are past that stage if you are reading this. Thats also a good thing. Early farewell, all people will love you. You can see your birthday being celebrated and someone else eating the cake for you.

 
5. Unlucky fool

    Dying in a foolish accident like, falling from ladder, pulling out your own grenade pin and keeping in hand, slipping over a banana and hitting your head on floor.....the list is so long and so unpredictable... You can laugh your whole afterlife on how you died.

6. Dying in a fierce accident

      Plane crash, Bomb blast, car crash, caught in between wheels of a generator or grinder, electrocuted by a transformer, boiled in a steamer....so fearful, pain depends...you might be evaporated in a minute which can be painless...or boiled for hours alive...

7. Dying famous, patroitic, as a saint

       Space shuttle explosion, first martyr in a freedom struggle, first officer die in a war during peace time, press reporter from an international agency killed by a terrorist, entrapped in a cave/ mine for 7 days before dying ( no media is going wait for it to boil for more than a week) , while trying to save a girl or kid from a rapist/ gunda, for a religious reason where you sacrifice yourself, in a peaceful town..Nobody is going to appreciate your death in a town where a major rebellion or war is going on.

8. Dying shamefully

       Killed by a woman while trying to rape her, killed by husband while adultery, heartattack while having a homosexual action ( when you are straight in public), while trying to steal, while doing spywork for neighbour enemy country

9. Nobody knows you are dead

     Dead in a forest on a lone trip, fell from train on an unchartered trip, drown in sea during a lone touring, killed and hidden in a concrete pillar by a murderer, this list can go crazy..



Resident: patient's night mare (literally)

Last night Bullshit SR told me arrange and transfuse blood for two patients at 2:00am. Because then only that idiot noted hb 7 in the report which came at 6 pm. I had do a fist fight and tug of war with one patient ( he had his leg aimed and ready to kick me all the time which was held back by another patient's attender) while I was dizzily pricking him multiple times. The other was a poor little boy who couldnot cry because he was tracheotomized. Only thing he do is wave his hands in agony and drop some tears from eyes. And his helpless mom who had no other choice than cooperate held his legs so that I could do a femoral puncture.

After that today morning, with a half awake brain I was pricking a 3 month baby 5-6 times for an ABG. I have lost or shutdown my that part of heart which is supposed to respond to the shrill cry of this baby.

Ps: I am doing my part sincerely as neurosurgery resident in making last days of these patients miserable and ensure a painful death.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

First time in a desert.

It was a part of 'Knowing my Country' series of journeys. An unchartered train trip to Jaisalmer from Delhi. The fort in Jaisalmer is awesome. The sand dunes are nice, but not inspiring; like a beach.